gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
