I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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