Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
