my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
