The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She even gives head with a lisp.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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