Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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