Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
