so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize