Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
