I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
