nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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