haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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