he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Vodka?
Forever.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You have to summon your inner elephant
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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