Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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