Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Green mimosas i think yes
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
