question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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