I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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