I wish life had little blips of pornography
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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