Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
