we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
