I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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