Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
