I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We had to coat check the pizza.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize