we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize