Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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