so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she peed on how many people?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
