never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
