The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
