your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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