Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm just crazy horny about you
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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