i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
