You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
