I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
