Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
