escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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