wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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