btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Randomize
