can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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