id be glad to
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
