you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
