I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
