NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
