I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
