I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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