the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
