Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
