We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
