I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
