Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
