i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
