I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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