You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just googled if crying burns calories
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
