hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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