really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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