I forgot how hot balto sounded
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize