The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
