More tranny stories later!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
