I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
