Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
