My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
